Poker for Pirates

Last night's game was at my place in Walsh Acres. There were no power outages or acts of God. There were no 911 calls. There was no choking, beating, or dismemberment of any kind. I thought we might break the streak when I pulled a shocking Royal on 5th on an all-in, but clearer heads prevailed. So really, I guess there's not much to report...just a nice, friendly game. What's good for the heart isn't necessarily good for the blog! I have heard a rumor about a Monday game in Broder's Annex, so we will just have to make it through the weekend...I'm sure we can fill our time with fishing, camping, BBQs, & football...it's only 4,827 minutes away! I am hosting my little buddy Liam's birthday this Wednesday...he wants a pirate party, & by God, that's what he shall have! Everyone will be in costume...I'm constructing a ship for the back yard, to be placed by the pool, so the diving board will be perfectly situated for "walking the plank" & I'm planning the greatest treasure hunt known to man...Liam loves poker almost as much as he loves pirates, so I will be playing with a bunch of 5 year olds (how do you say "send your child with with their piggy-bank and a couple extra hundred" on an invitation?) With my luck lately, it could turn out to be a very expensive afternoon. Have a great weekend! Up the Ante, JJ.

Poor Phil...

This is terrible, but I had to laugh...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT3_6UxN5Ls&feature=related

Choke On This...

Oh man...what can I even say about tonight's proceedings? I don't feel I'm at liberty to write too much, as I don't want my @$$ hauled in to court to testify! Let's try aliases...Homer & Bart should suffice...if you only knew how accurate this depiction is! The following rendition is in chip values, so it's not as dire as it might sound....It was maybe the third or fourth hand of the evening...there were a number of people in a min-raised pot...perhaps $200 or so...Bart bets $500 out of turn, & the player 2 to his right raises to $2700...Bart rethinks his $500 raise, & attempts to pull it from the pot, with the classic "I didn't see his cards"...Homer takes exception to his "refund" & says that the bet stays...fair enough. There was a little verbal abuse (there's a lot of history I don't have the time or inclination to delve into) & the war was on. Bart relents, & you'd think that might be the end of the story....we should be so lucky! I honestly can't recall how the hand turned out, as Bart left the table after a not-so-quick fold...a few moments later, to my shock & horror, Homer has Bart up against the wall (see image top left) & pizza is flying everywhere (side note---Bart, you may want to look into a higher caliber of guard dog...in your moments of mortal peril, 'Santa's Little Helper' was lapping pepperoni from the furniture!)...I leaped from my seat to break things up (thanks for the help, fellas!) & Homer finally released his grasp, & stormed out of the house. We were all very much in shock. I have never witnessed such a scene in all my years at the tables (save for a very sour game of Monopoly at age 7.) I get both sides, but really guys, let's be honest...there's no shortage of trash-talking, bitching, & whining at our games...it's not an entirely new concept. Life's too short to take things so seriously. I can refer y'all to some great therapists, so let's just take a deep breath, a sip of tequila, & play some cards. A gentle reminder...where would the Simpson's be without BOTH Bart & Homer? Up the Ante, JJ.

The Brothers Grimm & Last Night's Mayhem

We played the cash game from hell at Ben's last night from 6pm until 2am...minimum buy in was 2, and it got crazier as the night went on...I went home happy after winning only 4 pots the entire evening. There was just no way to take a stab at a pot with a marginal hand...it was, hands down, the worst poker I've seen in my life! (and I've seen a LOT of bad poker--from the driver's seat!) There were, perhaps, 4 pots under a hundred bucks. You could not keep people out of a hand, for love nor money. There were 2 other players with some semblance of a grasp on the game, & one quite good player (who was just as frustrated as I!) There were a lot of beginners that wanted to play like the big cats on TV...anything on the table was game...watches to car keys to big ol' stacks of cash...it was surreal. It sounds like a dream game...patience should pay off eventually, one would think! Without a brilliant hand & ideal flop, you just couldn't afford to play. I wasn't under-funded, either...the game was just that silly. I threw away countless hands I would have played extremely aggressively in any other game in the world. It was incredibly frustrating to sit back & wait for premium hands...even when I finally caught something, it was often not playable after the flop, & I threw good money after bad on a number of occasions. Suck-outs were the rule, not the exception. I know exactly what you're thinking as you read this....how can I get in on this game?!?!?...let me tell ya, brother...I'm not sure your heart can take it! It was the most back-ass-words situation, with odds having absolutely no bearing on reality! Words just cannot describe last night's events...it was something you'd have to see for yourself to believe. I have never had to adjust my play like I did last night...I'm excited about a good solid game tonight! I don't think I will ever be so happy to face good players again (except, of course, for the day when I get to play with Negreanu! I think I will pencil him in!) There's a tourney tonight at the Brothers Grimm residence in Rochdale at 6pm. Kelly's off fishing (we sure do miss you!) but I think the rest of the regular crew will be there! See you then! Up the Ante, jj.

Back to the Dark Age

We've been playing some cards, but I haven't had time to write. Actually, that's a bold faced lie. I just haven't felt like it. The only thing that really needs recounting is a game from a few nights back...it goes a little like this...
It was a dark & stormy night...really. We were playing indoors thanks to the non-stop rain. There were 3 of us left in the pot. The chips were mounting. I knew I was in the lead on the flop, but not by much. I pushed all in & both players called. 4th street came, & you could hear a pin drop (which is no small matter if you know Linden!) My opponents had a kajillion outs. The dealer was drawing it out for maximum effect. Finally, the moment of truth arrived...the dealer was in mid-turn, & a loud bang erupted from out back, followed by an explosion of light...and then...nothing. Darkness. Not a sound. I shouted "What the heck WAS that?!?!".... Brian loudly exclaimed "The transformer blew! The power's out!" I quickly corrected him by saying "I know THAT, genius...what the hell is the CARD?!?!" We all had a chuckle at his expense, & continued to play by candlelight for the next few hours. It was an interesting game, that's for sure! I'm pleased to announce that 5th was the 10 of hearts, by the by, which was one of the few cards that didn't improve my opponent's hands! Next weekend should bring a poolside game & BBQ...see you then! Up the Ante, JJ.